A few ways that our babes feel our love most.
Raising well-rounded and emotionally intelligent kiddos takes work - there is no doubt about that - but if you ask the experts, the benefits far outweigh the work. The care we give on the day to day may seem somewhat insignificant and draining or even repetitive in the moment, but the truth is, it can significantly impact our babes for the long haul.
Through our simple presence, we get to bond. Through our touch, we get to create security and safety. Through navigating and working through emotions, we get to build emotional independence and acceptance of oneself.
Now before you get overwhelmed or feel any pressure, we want you to know that we get it! There is enough pressure on us mommas to always be doing it all, but it is our hope that this may help you simplify where you can and in turn create more space for loving, calm, connection with your babes.
After all, our desire to simplify mom life for ourselves and for others while allowing for more mental space for caring and connection was what brought our little company, MK& Co., to life!
Here are a few of our “go to” methods for showing up in a loving way for our babes.
LOVING THROUGH PRESENCE
Our babes crave our attention and while we know some days that can feel like it’s never ending and even draining, the truth is, the moments of true quality time are what help to form the people they become. When they can have an uninterrupted hour of our time (no work, no phone, no TV, etc.), where they lead the way and we simply follow, this builds confidence, self-awareness, self-esteem, emotional wellness & attunement. Studies show that children who are deeply connected to their parents, are actually set up to become the most independent adults.
So, whether you're with your babes all day or you’re getting home just in time to partake in that evening bath, it’s important to find windows of time that allow space to connect. Yes, it can feel really challenging when the rest of the world still needs you too, but if you’re able to shut it out for a moment in time and just lean in, these are the moments that we get to truly see our children. We get to learn, understand, embrace and encourage that beautiful little developing person.
The best part being that when their little cup is full, we gift them the ability to spend longer periods of time independently.
LOVING THROUGH THE FIVE SENSES
It can be as simple as sharing a meal together. Making eye contact when we speak to them. Stopping to smell flowers together. Singing to them when they fall asleep at night. Holding their hand on a walk. These small acts of acknowledgment and kindness build upon connection with our tiny people.
We know just the word “touch” alone can make a “touched out momma” cringe. We get it! Heck, after so many years of living life in this body of ours, it can feel really hard to suddenly have someone that thinks your body is basically their own personal property and craves your touch 24/7.
The truth is, while we all need to have reasonable boundaries in place for ourselves, we also need to relish in these moments and the boost it gives our littles. Connection through all five senses is so important for all of us, especially little ones navigating this big new world full of feelings, sounds, new surroundings and so much more. It’s innate for our babes to want to be near us, cling to us and desire all the loving touch one can give.
So next time they are fighting for space on your lap, not wanting to be put down for nap, pushing their little feet under you while you sleep, let’s all try to remind ourselves that in both our boundaries and in the loving touch we give, we are adding building blocks to their security, comfort and self-confidence.
LOVING THROUGH EMOTIONS
Did you know that 90% of our child's brain growth happens before they go to kindergarten?! WHOA! No pressure or anything momma.
Okay but really, isn’t it beautiful that we get to have so much influence during these early years. Our consistency and care during these years actually can have a big impact. We don’t say that to scare you, guilt you, or over burden your already busy mind. We say it to remind all of us that these years that feel so chaotic, the ones where you’re bouncing around from mess to mess, from melt down to melt down, these are actually important milestones for our babes. If we can eliminate unrealistic expectations, we can find ways to navigate these years with more joy and connection.
According to experts, connection is the key to most behavioral difficulties. Yet, it always seems in those difficult moments that is when it becomes the hardest to connect. Hmmmmm. You mean when they act the worst, we actually need to have the softest approach? Yes. This is when their need for connection and acceptance becomes most acute. The key to showing them our unwavering love in these moments is through softness. Softness in all aspects of our body, mind, voice. They need a soft, trusted and safe place to land when they come down from what they are whirling from.
In doing so, we get to help form people who know what it is to be heard, seen, loved and accepted. We get to help little people become big people that aren't afraid of communication, hard feelings or sharing themselves openly as the person they are.
LOVING THROUGH TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES
It’s our hope that these tips encourage you and help you feel more connected to your babes. We know first-hand that mom life has its overwhelming moments, and some of us have struggles outside of “moming”. It’s highly important that we carve out time to recharge, that we have trusted help, that we utilize resources and seek information to support our own mental health. For in doing so, we teach our babes to equally take care of and prioritize themselves as they mature.
When we show up for ourselves, we also then create more space within ourselves to show up in the hard moments for our babes. When we are able to do that, we get to cultivate the trust, security and connection they so desire and deserve. Finding ways to secure your own oxygen mask (even though everything inside of you innately wants to help your babes first) is one of the greatest lessons we can teach our kiddos. How to care for oneself in the midst of a world that is constantly pulling us away from doing so.
Happy February mommas! It’s our hope that your hearts are full, you have the support you need and know that you are the perfect momma for you babes. Love yourself! Today, tomorrow and each day after that because you are SO deserving.
Mandy & Kalie